Lauren' Blog

The title says it all! Sure the actual subject is cool, but my teacher is CRAZY. Essays, worksheets, projects, power points galore! A day without something due and I would assume the world was coming to an end. Seriously.

Aghhhhhh! This darn ankle is going to be the death of me! It's was doing great until yesterday. I now have the clicking sensation in my ankle yet again and severe pain. I am going crazy! If this last surgery didn't work I don't know what I'll do. I can't have another surgery since school is just right around the corner and softball season will be here before I know it. No way am I missing out on those!

Since I haven't been able to do anything lately due to my ankle, I've been reading tons. I just finished THE BRIDESMAID by Hailey Abbott which was fantastic. I absolutely loved the characters, and I laughed the whole way through the book. For my birthday a little over a week ago I recieved TWENTY BOY SUMMER by Sarah Ockler, BEING NIKKI by Meg Cabot, and PEELED by Joan Bauer. All of them were so good! TWENTY BOY SUMMER was my favorite of the bunch, but BEING NIKKI was so intriguing that I couldn't put it down until I finished it. I can't wait for RUNWAY!

Well, that's all for now. Hopefully the doctor will call soon and this whole ankle debacle will be sorted out. Have a nice day!!

Summer is my all time favorite part of the year...and not just because I don't have to go to school. I can let loose and not have to worry about ten million projects that are due or impossible geometry proofs. But this summer is driving me absolutely insane. Not being able to walk really stinks.

No beach, no pool, no mall (without a wheelchair anyway), no softball, no field hockey, no dance, no running, and the list continues on. So, I've been doing a lot of reading. Not that I'm complaining of course. :) I love reading. But getting out every once and a while would be nice too. =D

I've been doing some PSAT practice book which is actually not so bad! I just hope it helps haha. I'm not the best at standardized tests, so hopefully the book will help a bit.

My brother has been playing baseball everyday for the past two weeks. I'm getting a tiny bit annoyed at all his complaints about it. I'd kill to be on the field! We're pretty different that way...I'd happily miss a party or something along those lines where my brother hates missing out on thing for baseball. He is doing well on his tournament team though. :) I like watching his games.

Well, that's all for now. I'll try to post more soon! :)

Finals! Joy. :(

Why must teachers put us through this torture? lol I wish my school had exemptions. How fantastic that would be! I wouldn't have to take a single exam! But sadly we do not use that and therefore I must take every single one of my four long exams. Block scheduling totally rocks though. I only have Honors World History, Religion, Spanish, and P.E. this semester. (why we have a final in gym I have no idea. I mean come on...do we really have to take a test on how to hit a volleyball??) World History will be my hardest one.

I'm going to my friend's house today to study and sleepover. Most people would probably laugh and be like "yeah...'studying'" But we will be studying. There's always like that hadful of kids that aren't the losers, but aren't popular and are somewhere in between. That's us. The Sporty, Bookworm, Nerdish, Friendly people. haha We have it all planned out...history first, then spanish, then religion. She has Journalism where I have P.E., so we'll help each other for those two. It will be a full night of studying. My one friend who is already done school was teasing me to no end about how much of a total nerd I was. He should talk! Lol

I have to take two of my exams early due to my surgery. Argh. At least I'll get them out of the way!

Well, off to the books. TTFN!

So here is yet ANOTHER old post that I pushed 'save' instead of 'publish.' Argh! I'll write my newest post first, and then paste the old one underneath. :)

Today was uneventful for once! Yayy! I met with my guidance counselor (who suggested that I create another blog, but that one for writing purposes only...I created the blog, just didn't post anything. lol!), went to all of my classes, left at my usual time before gym, and started on homework right away. My mom went out to a retirement dinner for a teacher at OLGC where she is the school nurse and my dad is out at dinner with the guys he went golfing with earlier. My brother, Colin, was supposed to have a baseball practice, but it got cancelled because of this dreadful weather.

Another surgery is in the horizons for me and my nuisance of a foot. I'll be having it done in Baltimore. This doctor seems very confident in himself and is promising me NO PAIN!! Sounds good to me! Unfortunately, I'm having it on the last day of school and will miss two of my finals. I'm going to have to take them early. The surgery certainly puts a damper on my summer plans though! My "perfect" summer isn't seeming so perfect anymore! lol But it will give me plenty of time to write, watch my softball team in tournaments, and hang out with my family. Maybe I'll even give in to the SAT workbook my mom is pushing me to do. :P lol!

My best friend's dad is pretty sick. It's really upsetting. He is always the one who gets me smiling on the pitching mound. (and off it too!) I keep thinking that my bad year has to start turning around sometime or another.

I am disapointed that the College Softball World Series is over! I really wanted Flordia to win, but Washington's team was absolutely awesome. It was a great series!

Well, that's all for now! Off to dig up some old Spanish tests to start studying for my final....

May 27, 2008 8:54 PM

I just got back from an exhausting day at CHOP. This will be a short post.

Basically my surgery didn't work. My doc is sending me to a surgeon in Baltimore to see if he can straighten me out. UGH! It is just so frustrating! Now I am in sooooo much pain! I hate getting my casts off!

Well, I didn't expect it to be this short, but I am just so tired. I'll write more when I know what is happening with my foot! :)

So I finally got back to school yesterday. It was not good. I figured "Hey, tomorrow is a new day," but boy was I wrong. Today was ten times worse.

I got so many rude comments about being in a wheelchair it was unbelievable!! Normally I could care less what anyone says about me. But they really got under my skin yesterday and today. Anyhow, yesterday was just terrible. And today...I don't even think there is a word to describe how bad it was!!!

It started out same as yesterday...obnoxious kids, crowed hallways, and many sympathetic looks from teachers. Then we had an evacuation drill to the football field. Now why I had to get out of the building when the principal specifically TOLD me it was a drill is beyond me. Some senior closed the door on me, I almost fell out of the wheelchair, my homeroom teacher yelled at me for not being where I was supposed to when I was supposed to (There was dozens of teachers yelling different things at me. Finally, I just listened to the nurse and got in trouble for it. Sheesh!), nearly got trampled, was late for my Spanish class, and then had to go on a crazy goose hunt for a teacher. Argh!!!

Well, homework awaits. Have a great day! :)

I've posted on here before about COLE's Foundation and how I am able to leave messages for kids (and adults!) who are going through a rough time. Often visiting these websites leads me to find a new friend or a huge inspiration. On one of the websites that I visit often I found a link to Erik's CaringBridge website. He has been through a lot of rough times, and is a great role model to all. His mom is also a wonderful woman. She works on fundraisers for pediatric cancer research in addition to being a great source of hope and inspiration. Please click on the links below to find out more information about the foundation, Ride 4 Erik. These links are also posted on the side bar under "Important and Fantastic Links" Help make a difference!!!

http://www.ride4erik.com/

www.caringbridge.org/nj/erikz

I was searching through a bunch of old pictures and I came across the cutest photos from when I was little! This one of me and my best childhood friend make me laugh. :)

(I wish I could scan this picture in!)

B., my childhood best friend, was wearing a cape and I was standing next to him in a little yellow dress. I think we were about 4 or 5 years old. We always had so much fun clowning around and most importantly pretending we were heroes or spies trying to stop the bad guy, AKA my little brother, from crawling into our play area in my house. We would use yarn and tape and our blankies :) to make forts and obstacles. I remember one day there was a gate on the steps to stop my brother from going up. We used this pink yarn (that we never seemed to run out of! lol) and tied knots galore and used our blankies to dangle over the side so you couldn't see our faces when we ducked. It's amazing how you can remember things like they just happened recently when really they happened a long time ago. B. and I used to be inseparable, but just like everything in life it changed. Our moms are best friends, so we still see each other occasionally. It's always so much fun and we joke about they hilarious things we used to do when we were little. Sometimes I miss being a little kid without a care in the world! But old pictures being worth a thousand words are always a blast from the past and make you think about different points in your life. While I love reminiscing about my childhood, I have even more fun imagining my future. :)

I feel like I'm floating around in lala land, and it is not a good feeling!

Today the tutor for the home bound program came for a history lesson. It was a huge weight off my shoulders! I thought I was sooooo far behind, but really I'm almost where my class is. I was really happy with that. :)

Right after the tutor left, I had to ask for a pain killer. Argh! They make me feel utterly awful! I keep trying to keep my eyes open by doing things to distract me...writing on here, texting friends, watching 90210...and it isn't working for me to well. I keep dozing off!!! It's a lose-lose situation though. I have to take the medicine because my foot kills, but hate the way the meds. make me feel. If I don't take the med. though, I can't bear the pain. Hopefully the pain will calm down tomorrow...it would stink to fall asleep while seeing all my family that I don't see much at my aunt's house. lol

My mom and little brother went to the Easter Vigil mass tonight. My cousin is recieving her sacraments tonight and my mom is her sponsor. I couldn't go because of my foot. So it's just me and my dad tonight. :) Right now we're just watching golf. All I can do is hope something a little more eventful will happen. lol! :)

Have a lovely Easter!

Wow! It's been a while! Things have just been very hectic to say the least!

My history teacher always reminds us of Murphy's Law and is constantly telling us to cover all bases with not only our work, but also our life. What can go wrong, will go wrong no doubt about it. It's like when you're cramming to finish a big project that you left to the last minute, you're just abotu done, and then the computer crashes and you haven't saved your work yet. It's just a given fact when you're doing things like that, something is bound to go wrong. (I have learned from experiance...it's not fun! lol)

Lately, I think Murphy's Law is totally 100% against me. My surgery went well, until the other day. I started having muscle spasms....and still have them. It figures right when I decide I'm well enough to go to school, I start the unbearable pain. =( I was really looking forward to going back!!! I'll proably end up going to CHOP one day this week. =/ Anyhow, this whole homebound thing is crazy. You would think the people who run it would want kids to get the schooling that they miss, but instead it's like they want to do everything they can to discourage it! It just doesn't make any sense to me! So anyway, they finally decided to let me get it and they can't find a teacher. I won't have a religion teacher since it goes through the township, gym you can't really have a teacher for, Spanish they can't find a teacher, and history, all of the teachers are booked. Ugh! I really want to get the ball rolling and get caught up!

My mom isn't feeling to well today either. Hopefully, she will start feeling more herself soon. :)

Well, that's all for now...I'll be updating this more soon I promise!!!

Please Keep My Mom in Your Prayers today....She is undergoing A CT scan and a MRI. Both are very important in the decision process and to her staging and diagnoses. THANK YOU!!!

Well my laptop is completely broken. I gave it to the IT department at school and they said I need a new motherboard. Hopefully it will be back before my surgery! I need it so my teachers can send me the work through their sharepoint sites. But since I am currently with out a computer, I haven't had much time to update this and my email is STILL down. Nothing will go through and nothing is recieved. But atleast I was able to get onto this website through this internet....some websites just haven't been working.

This past week has been pretty frustrating because of my foot...it's been feeling pretty good, but with all these meeting for softball and field hockey and the first softball practice coming up, I've been so frustrated! I really didn't want to miss this season like I did the last, especially since I was a pretty good contender for a spot on JV or Varsity. I'm going to be pretty involved with the team, but as I learned from last year, keeping score isn't the same as being on the field. My friends and I are going to the batting cages later this evening and I'm still trying to talk my parents into letting me in the actual cage for a swing or two.....maybe they will give in. :)! The field hockey coach has also been really nice, and I'll be involved with that this summer and next fall. It should be fun even though I can't play.

My mom has been hanging in there. Hopefully the worst radiation side effects will fad soon! She is getting a scan done on Monday of her neck and throat and it's really important that it comes back negative. We are storming the heavens and keeping our fingers crossed!!!

I have a pretty good amount of homework this weekend. Well basically it's just Honors World Hisotry, but I do have some easy Spanish and Health homework. I think I'll be alright...especially if the big snow storm we're supposed to have actually ends up being all that big. :) That would make my weekend! :)

Well thats all for now....Until next time!

Lauren

I found out a couple of weeks ago that the poem I entered for a poetry contest in Creative Writing class got chosen to be published! I couldn't be happier! I didn't think my poem would be picked. Here's the poem that I picked. We had a different prompt every week for creative writing, and one week we had to write a poem on a river....I did mine on the river of change. It was one of my favorite poems I had written.

Just as the river is so nice and clear,
There is a little girl who lives without a fear.
She isn’t very tall, and the river isn’t deep.
Her eyes widen as she sees a frog that catches a fly and leaps.

As she scurries along the river bank, she notices something strange.
The river is a bit murky and the water level has changed.
The girl’s brow wrinkles as she tries to think things through,
Her hair is longer, she is taller, and her face looks different too.
She is facing new challenges each and every day,
And she is not as timid as she once was to everyone’s dismay.

She shrugs her shoulders and continues walking along,
She stops once again, but this time to listen to nature’s song.
The girl’s smile is wider and she has a bright gleam in her eye,
She is friendly and kind, not at all shy.

The day is coming to an end and the sun is no longer in sight,
She takes one last look at the river and sees the moon shinning bright.
The girl will change even more in the years to come,
And even the river will be altered some.
Her journey in life is just like the river’s pathway,
Sometimes it is rough with a lot of confusing twists and turns, but somehow it will turn out okay.

I hope you like it! I have some of my other poems up on this computer, so I'm going to post a few others too.

This poem was our first prompt. We had to do it in a day on whatever we were feeling about one particular thing. It was at the beginning of the school year, and I was rather frustrated with how it was going so far. This one is a little humorous. :)

I walked into school the first day and my eyes widened in fear;
I took a deep breath and walked by my peers.
I frantically searched for a familiar face in the crowd,
But found nobody, only a group of laughing girls and boys who were loud.
As I failed to open my locker I groaned and I thought,
Why doesn’t anyone tell you what you really need to be taught?

Like where to sit on the bus on the way to school,
Or why one group of students are considered “cool.”
Or what table to sit down and eat lunch at,
Or who to turn to when you need to chat.
It’d be nice to know how to tell who your real friends are,
And why you have a ton of homework so far.

I turned back to my locker and again attempted to open it,
And finally after several tries I decided to quit.
I began to walk to my first class of the day,
But then I realized I was going the wrong way!
As I turned back around I groaned and I thought,
Why doesn’t anyone tell you what you really need to be taught?

This poem's prompt was an object that is special to you. I chose a book that my grandmother gave to me when I was in third grade. It was the book that really made me like to read. It was Nancy Drew and the Mystery of the Brass Bound Trunk. To this day, Nancy Drew books are my all time favorite. :)

I have a book that means a lot to me,
And when I open it up I feel so free!
I drift off into a world that is great,
Where miracles seem to happen because of fate.
As I read each page I remember my past,
And the possibilities of what could happen next are very vast.
I laugh and I cry every time I read it
Even though that is something I would never admit.
I know the book will never get old,
And every time I read it the setting is still beautiful and the characters are still bold.

To me this book isn’t just a mere story,
It gives me courage and much glory.
If I am having a rough day,
I pick up my book and begin to read away.

It is nice to know that no matter what in my life happens next,
The book will always remain in its original text.
The characters will still be there as well as the plot,
The setting won’t change and the same criminal will be caught.
It doesn’t matter if the book stays intact or is ripped apart,
I know that it will always hold a very special place in my heart.

I'm just going to post one last poem. We had to write a poem for Breast Cancer Awareness Month, and since I didn't personally know anyone going through cancer treatment at the time (I had to write this 2 weeks before my mom was diagnosed with anaplastic Thyroid cancer.) I wrote it based on my own experiances.

I got a bad grade,
My teacher is mean,
My favorite jeans are beginning to fade,
I hate keeping my room clean!
I thought that these things were terrible,
But a few days in the hospital showed me that they were very bearable.

As I was pushed around the hospital in a wheelchair,
Every little girl or boy I passed looked a lot worse off than me.
I gave them a small smile and said a prayer,
That they would soon be well and full of glee.
I learned a very important lesson that day.
And little did I know, I would learn even more during the rest of my stay.

Sometimes things don’t go your way,
And everything seems to be going wrong.
But we should be grateful for every single day,
While we learn how to stand strong.
Breast Cancer Awareness is recognized especially in October of each year,
And we can support the cause by wearing pink among other things.
We remember and pray for those who are optimistic and live without fear,
And who simply accept whatever life brings.


Well, I'll update more later. Have a great day!

It's been quite a while since I last updated, but actually this was supposed to be posted a couple of weeks ago! Instead of pushing the post button, I saved it as a draft instead! I'll post what I had written that day here, and then post another entry about more recent events. :)

I had to go to Children's Hospital today because my tendon snapped really out of place yesterday and then I couldn't get it back in. It hurt like crazy! I couldn't walk or anything since it was locked in place. Finally, it went in a little, but I could still see the tendon on top on the bone and it was still locked in that set position. I hate complaining about my foot since it should be the least of my family's worries, but I wasn't going to be able to go to school with my ankle like that. So I told my dad and he called the nurse practitioner who told us to go on the crutches and go in to see the doctor the next day (today) since he was in surgery all day. So I had to stay home from school. I hate missing days of school! Thankfully my first semester classes are over because I don't know what I would have done if I missed Honors Geometry, Honors English, Intro. to Chem, and Creative Writing. Since my classes now are just Honors World History, Religion, Spanish, and Health, making up work isn't horrible, but it still is a lot. And I was going to have to miss school again today, but luckily we had a snow day. I was very happy. :) But we went to CHOP today and the doctor came in to the room (after having us wait for hours!) and told me "I gave you every chance to get that foot better! You already know what I'm going to tell you right?" So we had to go through the whole surgery planning thing and everything before we could finally go home. This time it wasn't as bad though....last time I was so scared! But today I was just thinking there's always someone who has it worse than me. And then I went on my angel, Ivory's, CaringBridge website and I perked up a little and then everything really got put in perspective. I haven't posted anything about Ivory, but she is a wonderful 6 year old little girl whom is such a role model. She has been through a lot. Much more than I can even imagine being put through. Her mother, Julie, is also a wonderful person. She frequently updates Ivory's journal on CaringBridge and emails me. I love hearing from them and I know that from now on whenever I feel down or sorry for myself, I'll be thinking of Ivory, Julie, my mom, and my best friend's dad who is going through a tough time with reoccuring brain tumors and cancer. Instead of moping around, I'll say a prayer for each of them. So softball season is out of the question...but maybe this surgery is for the better or something. ...On second thoughts, scratch that. lol!!!

I can't believe I pushed draft when I wanted to post this! Sorry!

Boy am I stressed. Between school, my mom, my foot, softball, the newspaper and helping my brother I barely have time to think let alone sleep! I almost fall asleep during classes, and keeping me awake on the bus ride to school is a rare feat. Plus, my honors geometry class is driving me CRAZY!!! I don't know what it is with me and geometry, but we do not get along very well haha. Usually math is my best subject, but not this semester. My friends think I'm nuts for worrying about it since I do have an A (barely...I have a 93...if I get anything lower than an A in my final I'm done for. The one thing I despise about Catholic school!) But what can I say? lol I like getting good grades.

Well this is it for now. Sorry it's so short! But I really do have to finish homework. And maybe for the first time in weeks I'll be able to watch TV! American Idol starts tonight....I'm so excited! =)

Aghhhh Well the holidays are officially over and school starts back up on Monday. =/ That's also the day my mom starts her first radiation treatment. My dad keeps saying that she's going to be and look extremely sick. Before she had this last feeding tube procedure, she looked absolutely normal besides the little scar on her neck. But now she just.....she looks like she has cancer.

My mom's best friend and my second mother just came over a few minutes ago to flush her feeding tube. You know I used to be like extremely squeamish, but this whole thing with my mom and even
my own surgery has really "toughened" me up. Like where as before I thought I had my whole future planned out, I don't think I do anymore. I mean if you asked me a month or two ago what I wanted to do with the rest of my life, I would have said be a famous author hahahahaha! lol and teacher if the whole gold medal softball pitcher thing didn't work out. Now I dont' know what I would say. I know the hospital is a horrible place, but I actually like going there. Well not when it's for bad things, but like for visits with my mom and all, I like being there. Especially Children's Hospital. I really enjoy it. I think I want to volunteer there. But now I think I want to be a child life specialist or an oncologist or something like that. I really like kids and helping people and the whole idea about being able to help kids realky appeals to me. I guess we'll see.

I'll try to write more later.....ttfn. :)